I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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