part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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