They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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