ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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