Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
