I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
