I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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