Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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