I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You took a bar mat shot.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
