so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
