he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize