how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
