we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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