Me too!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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