Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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