My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
