I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
