Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
