Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize