I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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