i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
