dude i'm inner monologue high
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
