Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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