do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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