omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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