Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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