I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let's paint friendship bongs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
