What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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