She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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