You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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