just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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