woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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