I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
