I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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