Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
