dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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