Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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