So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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