"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
