You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
