The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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