shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
