I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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