belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
