She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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