The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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