PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
