Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
