DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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