Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I want a musical about memes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
