i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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