You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize