they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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