Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
why is half of my head shaved?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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