I need help removing her.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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