Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize