Pappa wants mamma naked
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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