And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
