Cold hands, warm shart.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
